


The Approximately Week-Long Tale of Alyabug and Chlo Noir

by loonyloopyluna



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya is Ladybug, Chloé is Chat, F/F, Our heroes take a vacation, based off larvesta's amazing art, this is going to be pretty gay tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-10-29 07:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10849656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonyloopyluna/pseuds/loonyloopyluna
Summary: Chloé knows that Adrien is Chat Noir, but lucky for him, there's an upside. Now he has a willing substitute and the freedom to take a vacation. Only, Marinette is going away, too. Now Paris is under the protection of two fresh-faced heroes with zero experience and a bad case of starry-eyed syndrome. They say you should never meet your heroes, so why not try being them instead?





	1. Chapter 1

Chloé may have been blonde, petty, annoying, superficial, and a thousand other irritating things, but she was definitely  _ not _ stupid, and now Adrien was going to pay for that. He, like so many boys before him, had underestimated her, which had proven to be his own downfall.

Of course, he had a bit more on the line than most.

He still didn’t know what gave it away. The jokes? Hilarious, sure, but surely there wasn’t anything incriminatingly unique in his brand of humor. Did he slip up--say something only Adrien would know, as Chat, or something only Chat would know, as Adrien? Was it just those unconscious mannerisms that gave him away, like the way he flicked his head to shake his bangs from his eyes? Maybe if he could explain it away he could forgive himself.

It was no use speculating. Nope, he skipped over that right into the next stage of grief: depression. Specifically, the kind that involved a lot of self-pity and laying in bed.

“Plaaaagg. Chloé knows! This is terrible! What if she gives me away? And now she’s never going to leave me alone! What do I dooooo?” he moaned dramatically.

Plagg hovered nearby, exasperation written over every centimeter of his tiny face. “Well, for starters, you could stop being such a whiny little bitch.”

Adrien slid his arm off his face and glared at the kwami with his one exposed eye. “I’m coping,” he said flatly.

“And how is this helping, exactly?”

He was quiet for a moment, then rolled over. “Shut up. That’s what I’m asking you.”

Plagg gently lowered himself to the bed and sat down. “Hey, look on the bright side. If something happens to you, you always have a backup.”

Adrien mumbled something into his pillow.

“Now, I’m not saying something  _ is _ going to happen to you,” Plagg continued. “I’m just saying, it’s a very real possibility. You could get sick, maybe, or get hit by a bus! Then where would Ladybug be?”

Adrien picked his head up. “Yes, thank you, Plagg. If I get hit by a car, I’ll be sure to give my miraculous to Chloé so she can fill in. I’ll have to remember that between the bleeding out part and the dying part.”

But Plagg was picking up momentum now. “No, don’t you see? This gives you so much more freedom! If you need to go away--go! You’ve got a replacement!”

“You really would trust  _ Chloé _ to take care of the city?”

Plagg shrugged. “Hey, I wouldn’t have trusted you at first, either, but I had to, and look where we are now.”

Adrien moved onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, his hands folded pensively across his chest. “You don’t think anyone would notice that Chat was suddenly, I don’t know, a girl?”

“Listen, kid. Weird stuff happens all the time, and no one notices.”

“If you’re sure…” Adrien trailed off. “It’s just--I think Father’s getting suspicious that  _ something’s _ up. He keeps eyeing my ring, like he recognizes it from that book we saw. And he keeps trying to get me out of the country. I’m sure that’s not his intention, but the way he keeps looking at me when I say no… I wonder.”

“Honestly, I wonder, too,” Plagg said. “Here’s a thought. Run the sub idea by Chloé, first. If it’s okay with her, go on the trip with your dad. If not… we’ll figure something else out, okay? This isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with suspicious parents.”

Adrien thought for a moment, then banged his fist on the bed, causing Plagg to bounce unpleasantly. Adrien stood up. “All right,” he said determinedly. “Let’s go.”

Plagg looked at him upside down. “What, now?”

“Yeah, why not?” Adrien shrugged. “Plagg, transform me!”

* * *

Chat Noir rolled onto Chloé’s balcony a few minutes later, skidding impressively to a stop, though of course no one noticed. He straightened up and straightened his bell and knocked on the glass door. A figure he hadn't noticed until it moved ducked out of the room, and he shifted uncomfortably in place. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

Chloé appeared in her bedroom doorway, but Chat barely had time to notice that before she was opening the door and squeezing him into a tight hug. He patted her back awkwardly, then sidestepped his way out of the embrace.

He smiled and waved uncomfortably at Sabrina, who colored slightly at the proximity of one of her idols. He turned to Chloé. “Uh, can we talk?”

She flashed her teeth at him. “Sure! Sabrina, if you wouldn’t mind…” She made a  _ shoo _ -ing motion with her hand.

Sabrina stared blankly at her for a moment, uncomprehending. “Huh? I--Oh, sure! No problem, Chloé. See you tomorrow!” She started to leave, then turned back at the door. “Bye, Chat Noir!”

He wiggled his fingers back at her and put up a pained smile as he watched her inch the door ever-so-slowly shut. If she was waiting to hear their conversation, she’d be there all day. But eventually the latch clicked, and Chat dropped his polite face and turned to Chloé.

“Hey, so, this might be weird, but hear me out,” he began.

She rolled her eyes and fell backwards onto her couch with an exasperated sigh. After arranging herself into the cushions to be more comfortable, she looked up at him expectantly. “Well? Sit down.”

He did so, perching nervously on the edge of the couch facing hers. “Um. So,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “So, uh, you know.”

“Yes, Adrikins, we’ve been over this,” she replied patiently. “Although, now that you’re done freaking out, I suppose you’re here to tell me I should have just kept my mouth shut for my own good, or whatever. Listen, I’ve seen Spider-Man. I’m sure you were keeping it a secret to protect me. But honestly, I can’t  _ believe _ you never said anything!”

It was his turn to roll his eyes. Honestly, though, this was doing wonders to make him more at ease. “You know, Chloé, I kind of had bigger things on my mind.”

“But I’m your best friend?” she pouted.

“Sure, okay, but I haven’t told  _ anybody _ ,” he protested. “Technically, I still haven’t told anybody, since you figured it out on your own, but--”

“Wasn’t hard,” she interrupted, smirking.

“Right, but-- Chloé, you have to be careful.”

She leaned her head back and sighed. “Yeah, I know,” she said. “Can’t blow your whole superhero thing for you, huh? What would your dad say?”

“No, I mean, like--” Chat took a deep breath and started over. “If you get akumatized again, Hawk Moth might be able to, like, see into your head and figure out who I am, which is, like, the worst possible thing.”

She gave him a winning smile. “You have nothing to worry about. I am a perfectly pleasant person.” He stared at her in astonishment, and she laughed. “Alright, noted. Don’t worry, Adrien, I’ll be more careful.”

He nodded distractedly. “Good.”

Chloé slowly examined her nails, and seemed startled when she looked up to see him still looking at her expectantly. “Was there something else?” 

“Well, yeah, actually,” he said slowly. “Um, it’s about my dad.”

She sat up eagerly. “Yeah, what  _ about _ your dad? How the hell is he not onto you? How are you getting around when he basically used to have you under house arrest?”

“Hmm, yeah.” He coughed. “He’s not… not onto me, I don’t think. Or, I think he’s suspicious, at least. So I need your help with something.”

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath. “I want you to be Chat Noir.”

* * *

All was well; all was perfectly set up. Adrien planned to smuggle a perfectly innocuous wooden box into Chloé’s purse and leave school wearing a cheap plastic ring won from an arcade game. He was pleased with himself.

And just as he had everything arranged, his partner’s fell apart. While Adrien and Chloé reveled in their crystal-perfect plan, Marinette received news that her grandfather died.

“Now, I know it's a lot,” Sabine told her. “But your father and I are going to leave for Narbonne tomorrow, because he has a lot to do and we need to start planning the funeral. I know you have school and we're not going to force you to come along. You're responsible, Marinette, and I understand if you don't want to come along, and your father and I agree that we trust you enough to stay here for the week. Mrs. Chamack has offered to let you stay with her. But I also think you might consider coming with. I know Papa would really appreciate it.”

“I…” Marinette sniffled hard and drew her sleeve across her nose. “Of course I want to come, Maman. I'll just ask Alya for any work I miss, but I don't want to miss Grand-pere’s funeral.”

Sabine enveloped her daughter's slim hands in her own and gave her a soft smile. “I know, dear, I know,” she murmured. A bell downstairs rang, barely heard in Marinette's room all the way from the bakery, and then again, and the tender moment was shattered. She patted Marinette’s hands gently and stood to answer the call.

Marinette closed the door behind her mother and returned to her chaise. She sat down slowly, her face still blank and unmeasured, her mind still clearly in shock. Tikki crept out from behind a pillow and laid a reassuring paw on her leg, gently rubbing in calming circles. “Oh, Marinette…”

She sniffled again. “I just… I can't believe it, Tikki. We haven't visited my grandparents in a long time, but I just keep thinking about the last time we saw them, and he was fine. And I know he had heart problems and I know that can be unexpected but I just…” She broke off into a rattling sigh. “God, Tikki, I did get to say goodbye, but it was three years ago.”

Tikki flew up to reach Marinette's cheek and give her a kiss. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and murmured, “I know, Marinette, it's okay to be sad. I'm so sorry.” After thousands of years of dealing with death, she found she still had no idea how to confront it.

Marinette said nothing in response, simply touching Tikki briefly on the cheek before slowly laying down on her side. She stared at the wall, teetering on the edge of tears but too numb or not sad enough to actually cry, and hating herself for it. At some point in her silent reverie, she fell asleep, her dreams full of the same discomfort and unrest as her waking thoughts.

She awoke some time later, to a room saturated with sunset hues and a stifling warmth. Tikki dozed peacefully on her thigh. Marinette smacked her lips together, trying to wet her dry mouth with her parched tongue, and squinted for her phone in the low light. She found it resting near the edge of the chaise, and managed to slowly sit up and reach over for it without disturbing the sleeping kwami. It was for naught, though, since the clock told her she was late for patrol. Her stomach grumbled and she reflected that her parents must have forgotten to make dinner, or they had decided to let her sleep through it.

She tapped Tikki gently on the head. “Tikki, wake up. We need to go.”

Tikki stirred, yawning widely. “Marinette? What time is it?”

“Late,” she replied, scooping her up so she could stand. “I need to grab something to eat first, but Chat's already waiting.”

Tikki followed Marinette down the stairs; there was no one around, and down the hallway, Marinette saw an unusual sight: her parents’ bedroom door was shut. A strip of light leaked out onto the carpet below.

“Are you okay?” Tikki whispered as Marinette glanced around the kitchen. She grabbed a banana and started peeling, though it was made harder because her hands were shaking. Tikki helped.

“I don't have time to know if I'm okay right now,” Marinette said, taking a bite. “We’we wade fow padrow.”

Tikki gave her a wordless look of concern that said more than she could have voiced, but simply touched her arm reassuringly before soaring off in search of a cracker or two.

Marinette swallowed hard and tossed the banana peel towards the trash can. Tikki caught it before it hit the ground and threw it out, wiping her paws on the back of Marinette's jacket as she hitched a ride back upstairs. One trapdoor shut, another one opened, and Marinette transformed in a flash of pink light. Instantly, she felt a little better, and running across rooftops, breathing in the twilight air, helped calm her mind.

She skidded to a stop at the usual patrol meeting spot, though of course Chat was no longer there. They usually waited five minutes for the other, then started on their own. Ladybug picked up on her route, zipping through it faster than was probably wise to meet Chat at the halfway point.

Apparently he'd had a similar idea in mind, because she arrived he was already pacing nervously. He looked up when her feet hit the rooftop. “Sorry I was late,” he blurted.

“Don't worry about it,” she replied with a tired smile. “I was later.”

“Oh.” He approached cautiously, seeing something fragile in her expression. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course,” she lied. “I just fell asleep. Is everything all right with you?”

He twisted his hands together. “Yeah, yeah, everything's good. It's just--I don't really know how to say this, but… I have to go away for a week. Next week, in fact.”

“Oh.” She was about to tell him that she needed to tell him the same, but he kept going. She heard little of what he said, because the realization that Paris would be without both its heroes for a week hit her hard and she struggled for breath. A thousand images flashed through her head; of Paris, burning, and all its citizens under Hawk Moth’s thrall. Of returning to find a thousand built-up pleas for help, of everyone thinking their heroes had abandoned them. 

“Yeah. And that's not all,” he continued, unaware. “Or, that's not the worst. Um, my friend told me that she knows. That I'm Chat Noir. I just found out yesterday. So I, um, talked it over with my kwami, and we decided… I asked her, and she's going to fill in for me. As Chat.”

“Is there any way you could-- wait, what?” Ladybug snapped back into focus to register the tail end of his statement. “You're giving someone your miraculous so they can fill in while you're not here?”

Chat nodded nervously. “Yeah. She's a friend, if that helps. And it's only for a week, I promise. Please don't be mad?”

“I--no, of course not,” she replied in a daze. “That's a genius idea, chaton!”

He blinked. “Well, alright. You're taking this better than expected. I told her I'd ask if you wouldn't mind staying a bit longer her first patrol, assuming you don't see each other for an emergency before then. Just so she can get some practice with my baton and everything.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Ladybug said. 

Chat suddenly seemed to notice the distant look on her face. “Seriously, Buginette, is everything all right?”

In gazing off into the distance, perhaps, she forgot to blink, and a tear rolled down her face. Ladybug swiped at it with the heel of her hand, but that one tear had opened the floodgates and, to her horror, her “Yeah,” came out feeble and unconvincing. She tried to say more, but the words stuck fast in her throat, and she suddenly found herself sobbing. Chat drew nearer and placed his hands on her shoulders, but she pulled him in closer for a hug, hiding her face in his neck.

“Hey,” he breathed. “It's okay. You can tell me.” His hands wrapped gently around her back and he pressed a soft kiss into her hair.

They stood there for a few more minutes before she drew back, embarrassed, and wiped her eyes. “I-I'm sorry,” she stammered. “It's just--I just found out a family member died. I… I didn't mean to…” She trailed off and turned away, but Chat grabbed her elbows firmly and held her in place. She looked at the ground as he addressed her.

“It's okay,” he insisted. He wanted to say more, but knew he shouldn't press. “Don't apologize, my lady. I'm here for you.”

Ladybug looked up and was touched by the earnest look of concern on his face. She pulled him into another hug, softer, less desperate and considerably drier than the last, though she could still feel the dampness on his suit when she pressed her face into his neck. “Thank you, Chat,” she whispered.

She drew back. “Alright, come on, we should hurry up so we can get back home,” she said. “We've wasted enough time already. Race you?”

Chat reached back and flicked out his baton. “Ready when you are,” he grinned, grateful to see her smiling back.

* * *

A few mornings later, Tikki and Marinette exchanged a tearful goodbye, and that evening, when Alya overturned her schoolbag onto her bed, a worn wooden box tumbled off her blankets onto the floor. Curious, she picked it up, examining the antique carvings on the lid. What was that, Chinese?

She opened it, and was nearly blinding by a growing ball of light. The box bounced back onto the bed as her hands came up to shield her eyes from the glow, and from the light flew a little red bug.

“Hello, Alya,” said the bug.

“Um. What?” said Alya.

“I’m Tikki,” the little being continued. “I’m Ladybug’s kwami. And, for the next week, I’m yours, too.”

“What does that mean?” Alya asked nervously. There was no way… Could it be?

“You’ve been chosen,” Tikki said patiently. “Ladybug needed to go away for a while, and she picked you to help Paris while she’s gone.”

It could indeed.

“No…” Alya whispered in astonishment, a growing grin on her face.

“Yeah!” Tikki smiled back at her. It was nice, after so long, to be able to actually talk to Alya. Tikki had always admired her enthusiasm.

The little kwami settled on Alya’s books as Alya put on the earrings, turning her head to admire the view in the mirror.

“Chat Noir is waiting for you,” Tikki began. “So you can get a feel for your powers and get some practice in before you have to do anything. But first, I should tell you a few things.”

“I already know all about Ladybug’s powers,” Alya said flippantly, still gazing at her reflection. “It’s on my blog.”

“Oh. Are you sure? Maybe it’s best to--”

Alya spun around on her heel. “How do I get the suit on?” she asked. She made a variety of impressive poses, flexing her wrists like Spider-Man and stretching down to do a few squats.

Tikki giggled. “You just say, ‘Transform me.’”

“Transform me!” Alya repeated, watching in cross-eyed awe as Tikki zoomed towards her. A second later, the suit blossomed across her skin, and she gasped.

“This is so cool,” she gushed, bringing her arms up and examining them. She flexed her fingers experimentally and twirled in a circle, feeling a rush of excitement. She turned back to the mirror and her jaw fell. 

She looked  _ awesome _ .

Her mouth took on a determined smirk and she winked at her reflection. “Let’s go.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chloé felt like a little kid, if little kids were allowed to cartwheel around rooftops. The experience was exhilarating and new and _exciting,_ and she couldn't get enough. She was Chat Noir. Or, Chat Noire, now.

She was still a little miffed at Plagg. She'd anticipated his arrival and had ordered the smelliest and most expensive of cheeses to welcome him, and still he'd settled for boring old Camembert. Chloé resolved that by the time she was through with him, she'd have refined his palate.

She completed another lap around the block and closed her eyes, allowing the breeze to comb through her ponytail and brush against her mask. It was odd. She’d barely registered the new feeling, sensing the black in her lower periphery and the weight on her nose as akin to little more than a pore strip. Now, though, it blocked the wind from most of her face.

Adrien had planned the meeting-slash-training-session-slash-hero-tutorial-he-never-got to take place at the Trocadero, but in her eagerness she had arrived far too early. The only people around were civilians, a fact she noted with muted thrill as she realized she could no longer be counted as such.

But where _was_ Ladybug, anyway? All this pacing was making her more impatient, and she was dying to see Ladybug and have a real face-to-face chat. Maybe a little more; she certainly wouldn't object to sparring, in the name of practice, of course, with the city's interest and the citizens’ safety at heart. Face-to-face, hand-to-hand, heart-to-heart--what did it matter? She was sure to have snagged Ladybug’s heart before her stint was up. But that was neither here nor there, and nothing would ever happen if Ladybug never even _showed up_.

Chloé knew it was unjustified for her to be so agitated; she’d brought it on herself by showing up so early, after all. Still, wasn’t arriving on time--early, even--the mark of a responsible person? Wasn’t punctuality supposed to be one of the trademarks of a noble hero, such as--

A clattering noise sounded from behind her, and she whirled around, clumsily groping at her belt to draw her weapon. Then she recognized the red disk dangling from a streetlight a few meters away, caught in a tangle of black wire, and she heard the tell-tale _whir_ of Ladybug’s yo-yo retracting. Her shoulders relaxed, and she clasped her hands together, an awed smile blossoming on her face as she anticipated what was sure to be an impressive superhero landing.

It wasn’t.

Something tumbled toward her in the night, red on black on red on brown, but Chloé barely had time to register it before she was slammed into. With her luck, of course, and in her awe and anticipation, she managed to be standing perfectly at the end of the trajectory of whoever was at the other end of that yo-yo.

They collided, and Chloé tumbled to the ground painfully. Turns out her suit wasn’t completely impervious. Her butt would be sore for a while.

She opened her mouth to complain to Ladybug. It was an accident, sure, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still deserve an apology. Couldn’t she watch where she was going? But then she froze.

The Ladybug on top of her had brown eyes, brown skin, brown hair. That was enough to give her pause. But strangely, the thing that most caught her eye was this strange new girl’s headband. As she pushed herself up and off of Chloé, streaming incoherent apologies, a pair of antennae bobbed above her head, still wobbling from the fall. Chloé’s hand reached up involuntarily and batted at one of them; it swung away.

Ladybug stopped speaking, and stared down at the girl underneath her. Her pupils were comically wide, and a smirk twitched underneath her mask as she batted again and again at Ladybug’s antennae. She tried not to be cross; she’d been excited about this costume, and if her new partner tore it apart…

She had to admit, though, Chat Noire looked ridiculously cute. Like a kitten, almost.

Ladybug swept her hair back, breaking Chat’s hands away from her headband, and she seemed to snap out of a trance. Chat grinned bashfully up at her. “Sorry.” Then she frowned. “Wait, you’re the one that fell on me. Why am I apologizing?”

Ladybug grimaced. “I know. I’m _so_ sorry. This thing takes some getting used to, huh?”

“Yeah…” Chat replied. She shook her head. “Sorry, who are you? Where’s Ladybug?”

“That’s me.”

“But you’re not--” Chat faltered and tried again. “You’re not the usual one.”

“Nope!” Ladybug agreed. “I’m a temp, just like you.”

“Right,” Chat said slowly. “It’s just… I wasn’t expecting you. I was expecting… the other one.”

Ladybug wilted. “Yeah. Sorry. I’m new too. I guess we’ll have to figure this out together?”

Chat, oddly, couldn’t find it in herself to continue to complain. Maybe it was Ladybug’s eyes, so incredibly warm and soft and wide and _extremely_ close…

She realized in a shock of embarrassment that she had been staring, open-mouthed and silent, instead of answering. As first impressions go, this had to have been one of the worst she’d ever made. Thank god they could go their separate ways in a week and she’d never have to worry about it again.

Chat cleared her throat. “Yes. Of course, we won’t be able to do anything together if you’re still pinning me to the ground.”

Ladybug’s cheeks darkened. She didn’t seem to realize until that point that she was hovering over Chat, but as soon as she had mentioned it her arms felt the full fatigue of holding her up in a plank pose. She stood up and offered a hand to her new partner, who took it cautiously, and she pulled her up.

Chat brushed herself off, then eyed Ladybug appraisingly. “First things first, I suppose. You should really learn how to use that yo-yo properly. Here, let me show you.” She reached for it, but Ladybug drew her hand back.

“Yeah, I don’t think normal tricks are going to be much help,” she said defensively. “You can walk the dog, and that looks cool and all, but it doesn’t get me between buildings.”

“I know that,” Chat snapped. Her cheeks darkened, and she muttered, “I cosplay Ladybug sometimes. I know some of her moves.”

“Really?”

“Look, forget it,” Chat said, clearly embarrassed. “I just don’t want you falling on me again.”

“N-no,” Ladybug stammered. “I mean, that’s actually _really_ cool.” She grinned slyly. “Think you’ll ever need a partner to cosplay Chat?”

Chat laughed. “How about we focus on now, when you’re the _Ladybug_ that we need,” she said, grinning.

* * *

Chloé’s first experience in escaping to play the hero came quickly, which was challenging. They always seemed to come after _her_ specifically, anyway. Still, she managed to dash away and transform, and when she returned to the scene, she found that Ladybug had beaten her to the punch.

Literally. The first thing she saw was Ladybug’s fist connecting with today’s villain’s jaw.

They went flying over Chat’s head, and only then did Ladybug notice her.

“Chat Noire!” she said brightly. “Just in time.”

She drew level with her partner and together they faced their opponent, who was already struggling to stand back up.

“Do we really have to resort to punching?” Chat whined.

Ladybug laughed.

“And besides,” Chat continued, “there's a real person in there.”

Ladybug’s smile slipped a little. “Oh. You’re right.”

“Did the cat catch your tongue so easily?” the villain sneered. “I have to say, you two aren’t what I expected at all. If Ladybug and Chat Noir will give their miraculouses to just anybody, perhaps you should give them to me.” She spread her hands and said magnanimously, “This doesn’t have to be difficult.”

Chat narrowed her eyes. “Hold on, I recognize you.”

“What?”

“No, no, I do,” she insisted. “You go to my--to Collège Françoise Dupont. You won the weather girl contest a few months ago.”

Ladybug goggled. “Mireille?”

The girl stomped her foot, and her signature bobbed hair swished out around her face. “No! I am the Punisher, and you’re getting off the subject! Miraculouses, now, please!”

Chat tapped her chin for a moment. “Hmm, I don’t know. I’m holding onto this for a friend, and I think he’d be pretty mad if I gave it up to someone else.”

“And I don’t have a snappy comeback,” Ladybug said fiercely, “but you should know by now how this always plays out.”

Chat suppressed a giggle. This was a serious situation. She shouldn’t be finding it cute.

“So give it up,” Ladybug continued. “You haven’t won before, you won’t win today, and you’ll never succeed, as long as I can do something about it.”

Chat shot an impressed smile to her partner, who returned it with a confident wink. Meanwhile, the Punisher yawned widely at them.

“Are you done?” she asked. “Cute speech. It’s okay, though. You don’t have to tell me you’re afraid to get your hands dirty, Chat Noire. I kind of figured that out already.”

“I would prefer not to,” Chat agreed. “I just got a manicure, and I’d hate to ruin it so soon, even with the gloves.” Quick as a flash, she whipped out her baton and extended it, sending its tip sweeping across the ground towards the Punisher’s ankles and knocking her feet out from under her. “Luckily, I don’t have to.”

Before she could stand back up, Chat hurried over and planted one foot on the small of her back, pinning her down. She gave Ladybug a cheeky thumbs up, then looked down. “Where do you think the thing is?”

“The what?” Ladybug asked, coming over to join her.

Chat waved her hands. “You know, the thing. The evil thing. The bad guy… thing.”

“Oh! The akuma!” Ladybug squatted down and addressed the Punisher. “I don’t suppose you’d tell us?”

She scowled, but said nothing.

“What about that?” Chat asked, pointing to a ray gun sticking out of her belt. “Isn’t it usually in the weapons?”

“Probably,” Ladybug agreed, reaching over and plucking it out. She spun it around a few times and pointed it at her partner, squinting down the sightline experimentally. “I wonder what it does.”

“Why don’t you shoot it and find out?” the Punisher asked sardonically.

Ladybug shrugged, and before Chat could stop her, squeezed the trigger.

A bright blue bolt issued from the gun and struck Chat Noire in the chest. Immediately, she started cackling uncontrollably.

“You, ha ha, shot me!” she said with difficulty. She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, and with her feet on uneven heights, she almost fell down. She doubled over, still howling with laughter, as Ladybug dropped the gun on the ground.

“I’ll undo it in a minute!” she promised frantically. She pounced on the gun, stomping on it with both feet, and with a resounding _crack_ , it split down the middle. A small black butterfly flew out.

Ladybug threw her yo-yo at it, hoping the weapon would know what to do. It did, opening up and swallowing the butterfly, and within seconds the akuma was purified.

Chat straightened up, gasping, and took her foot off of Mireille’s back. Ladybug rushed over and threw her arms around her partner.

“Oh my god, we _did_ it,” she said, giddy with disbelief.

Chat, however, didn’t return the hug. She leaned back in Ladybug’s arms and frowned. “You shot me,” she repeated irritably.

“Yeah, but you got better,” Ladybug scoffed.

Chat tried to stay mad, but the effects of the laughing gun still lingered, or maybe the significance of what they had just accomplished finally sank in. She beamed and sank into her partner’s embrace. “We--we just defeated our first akuma!”

“I know!” Ladybug lifted Chat up a few inches, spinning her around, and the two of them squealed in excitement. It felt… unreal. But they had done it.

Mireille rubbed her eyes in confusion. “What… happened? Who are you?”

“We’re--” Ladybug blinked stupidly and turned towards her, dropping her arms. “I’m-- She’s-- Ladybug and Chat Noire?” She gestured towards her outfit, as though it should have been obvious.

Chat crossed her arms. “And we just saved you from Hawk Moth. You're welcome.”

“Uh, thanks, I guess.” Mireille still sounded confused, but she simply walked away in a daze.

Chat turned back to Ladybug, still breathless with exhilaration. “What next?”

“Well, I should probably get back to class…” Ladybug said reluctantly.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“B-but we should meet up tonight!” Ladybug blurted. “You know, patrol the city, keep an eye out, look for bad guys.”

Chat grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Ladybug grinned back. “Eight o’clock. I'll bring sandwiches.”

Chat thought about eating cheap fast food, and touching the grease-stained paper it would be wrapped in, and shuddered. “I'll bring the food. You just need to bring yourself,” she said, punctuating her statement by tapping Ladybug lightly on the nose.

And then she ran off before she could embarrass herself further.

* * *

Alya had a few hours before she had to suit up again, which gave her plenty of time to think about her latest encounter with Chat Noire. There was something familiar and comfortable about her new partner that she couldn’t place, although she wanted to. She wanted to recognize the feeling she gave her. It was a nice feeling.

Tikki was playing games on her phone, so she pulled up her computer and began searching. As the manager of the school blog, she had a lot of resources at her disposal, and she was very good at utilizing them.

“Hey, Tikki?” she asked after a few minutes.

Tikki looked up. “What is it?”

“Can you, like, _sense_ when another miraculous is nearby?”

Tikki’s little brow furrowed, and she flew over to sit on Alya’s monitor. “Why do you ask?”

Alya fidgeted nervously. “It’s just--I’ve been thinking about earlier, and wondering how Chat Noire knew what school Mireille went to. That’s, like, a really specific thing to know. So she probably goes to the same school as her, right? And _I_ go to the same school as her. So…”

“Alya...” Tikki warned.

“It was just a thought!” Alya whined. “Listen, it’s not like this is a permanent gig. What if I want to stay friends with her? If we go to the same school, there’s a chance we know each other already.”

“I understand,” Tikki said. “But you can’t know each others’ identities while you’re working together. No one can. It’s too dangerous--”

“Do I know Ladybug?” Alya interrupted. “I mean, if she trusts me enough to do her job for her--”

“We’re not getting into this,” Tikki said firmly. “It’s _dangerous_. I know you won’t believe me, but trust me when I say that even the tiniest slip-up could be catastrophic. Do you know why Hawk Moth wants the miraculouses so badly?”

Alya shook her head.

“Because with their power, he can literally become a god,” Tikki continued. “He _cannot_ have them. And he’s smart. So, what if I tell you who Ladybug is, and you get akumatized again? Do you remember anything Lady Wifi did?”

Alya shook her head again. She had sunk down in her seat, chagrined, but her eyes were sparkling with curiosity.

“Exactly. What if he could access that information? Or, if you knew Chat Noire’s true identity? He could go through her to see if she knows anything.” Tikki sighed, and smiled sadly up at her. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be harsh. It’s for your protection; I hope you can understand that.”

“I do,” Alya said. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She turned back to the computer. This conversation was over.

Tikki laughed humorlessly. “Being a hero can’t be one hundred percent perfect, Alya,” she murmured.

* * *

The days passed slowly, and their daily patrols were uneventful. They held hands and wandered the city, keeping an eye out for dangers that never showed up. So by the fourth day of their stint, their patrol walks had become fairly mundane, and they used the time instead as an opportunity to talk and take in the gorgeous sights of Paris from up high.

Chat Noire had been waiting for a few minutes at the top of the Eiffel Tower, anxiously wondering when her partner would show, when Ladybug dropped down breathlessly next to her.

Chat arched an eyebrow. “Is this going to become a habit?” she asked. “Me showing up early, you showing up late?”

“I am--” Ladybug flipped open her yo-yo, and the display flashed the time at her. “Three minutes late,” she said pointedly. She sat down next to Chat and nudged her playfully with her shoulder. “Give me a break. The city looks different from up here. I took a few wrong turns.”

Chat huffed, but her heart wasn’t in it. “I wasn’t worried about you,” she lied. “I just thought the food might be cold by the time you finally decided to show up.”

“Ooh.” Ladybug grinned. “What did you bring me?”

Reaching behind her, Chat pulled out a thick paper bag with a flourish and set it on her lap. “Well,” she began theatrically, digging around. She pulled out a few containers and stacked them on her partner’s lap, identifying them as she went.

“I don’t really like soup, but there’s some lobster bisque, so if you want it, feel free to have it all… I brought some sliced bread, too, because there’s this really good cheese spread. I think it’s Brie and cherry, and there’s some nuts in it. So that’s this one… Oh, I forget what this one is exactly, but it’s really good. It’s, uh, linguine with, like, a garlicky mushroom sauce, and there’s eggplant and tomato and spinach and probably some other stuff. You’re not allowed to have all of that because some of it’s for me… Ooh, _and_ I managed to snag some angel food cake.”

“You’re _my_ angel,” Ladybug said in awe. She had already cracked open the soup and was gulping it down, savoring each creamy mouthful. “Where do you even get all this stuff?”

“They’re just leftovers from a fancy hotel.” Chat shrugged.

Ladybug looked up in alarm, and her partner snickered at the mustache that she now sported. She faintly heard Chat ask if she wanted a spoon and reached out automatically to take one, but her mind whirled. Le Grand Paris was right there; it would be perfectly reasonable to assume that’s where Chat got the food.

No wonder everything she brought always seemed familiar. Alya would recognize her mother’s cooking anywhere.

She panicked for just a moment, before the rational voice in her mind spoke up. It was completely unreasonable to think that this strange coincidence would be enough to blow her cover. How would Chat have even made the connection? She was just being paranoid.

Still, for the rest of the night, she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that Chat might have been onto her. That meal meant _something_ important, and she kept remembering the conversation she’d had with Tikki. She tried to be careful for the rest of the night, and she only hoped that Chat didn’t think she was acting too suspiciously. At least, she didn’t give any indication that she thought Ladybug was acting strange.

A few hours later, they sat on a different roof, dangling their feet over the edge and kicking the sign for a shop that had long since closed for the night. Chat was resting her head on Ladybug’s shoulder as they looked down at the people that passed by.

“Hey, so, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Chat said suddenly. She tilted her head and looked up at Ladybug. “How long are you here for? I mean, am I going to show up tomorrow, and you’re just… gone?”

“I--I don’t know,” Ladybug said, taken aback. She hadn’t thought to ask Tikki about any of that, which, now that she thought about it, seemed foolishly short-sighted.

Chat straightened up and looked at her skeptically. “What, Ladybug didn’t tell you when she gave you her earrings?”

“Uh, that’s not… I mean, she didn’t really…” Ladybug stammered. “I just kind of came home one day, and they were there. Hang on, how did you get yours, then?”

“I know Chat Noir,” Chat said. “He’s, like, one of my oldest friends.”

“Wait, you know the real Chat Noir?” Ladybug asked incredulously. “Like, the actual dude himself, when he’s not wearing the suit? Just, like, a normal guy, who also just happens to be Chat Noir in his free time?”

“Um. Yes…?” Chat said slowly. “I mean, I’ve known him forever, and he’s terrible at keeping secrets. One day I was hanging out with Chat Noir, and I called him by his real name, just to see if he’d slip up, and apparently that was the first time he realized I knew. So when he needed to go out of town for a bit, he asked me to keep his ring safe and keep an eye on things for him.” She shook her head. “So, does that mean you don’t have any idea who Ladybug is, like, at all? How does that even work?”

“I don’t know,” Ladybug admitted. “I mean, I’ve tried to figure out who she really is in the past, but that... didn’t really turn out all that great. Like I said, it just kind of… showed up. And when I asked Tikki--that’s Ladybug’s kwami--about it, she said I wasn’t allowed to know. Which I get. Like, the point of a secret identity is that it’s a secret, and nobody else knows about it. But you mean you know Chat Noir? What did his kwami have to say about that?”

Chat shrugged. “Not much, really. He mostly just makes fun of the fact that I tried to treat him like an actual cat and stinks up my entire room with his gross cheeses.”

Ladybug hummed. “Interesting…”

* * *

When Alya returned from patrol that night, she was too tired to even close the window behind her, and barely remembered to slip off her transformation before crashing face-first onto her bed. As her breathing slowed and she drifted off to sleep, Tikki looked at her worriedly.

Tikki was still asleep when Alya awoke the next morning, and although she might have been faking it, Alya left her alone and went down for breakfast. When she returned, however, Tikki was definitely awake, and pacing the room anxiously. Alya closed the door behind her, and Tikki flew up to her.

“I need to speak to Plagg,” she said urgently.

“Who?”

“Chat Noir’s kwami.”

Alya crossed her arms. “Yeah, what gives? How come he’s allowed to tell people his identity, but Ladybug’s not?”

“He’s not,” Tikki said. “Alya, this is--This could be really bad.”

Alya, who had been packing up her backpack, faltered. “Oh,” she said, trying to maintain a level composure. “Well, I can talk to Chat tonight, okay?” Tikki gave her a grateful smile, but the two of them knew a lot could happen in twelve hours.

On the metro on the way to school, Alya remembered something else from the night before. The train car was relatively empty, so she unzipped her bag and whispered, “Hey, Tikki? How am I supposed to return the earrings?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, yet,” Tikki said. “When Ladybug comes back, she’ll just pick them up, the same way she dropped them off.”

“That seems complicated,” Alya commented. “What if I see someone taking them? I’d know it’s her.”

“You won’t,” Tikki assured her. “Ladybug’s really good at that kind of thing.” She sounded proud, which Alya thought was a little odd, considering they were talking about sneaking around and stealing things, which seemed to her to be decidedly non-heroic attributes.

“But what if I do see someone taking them?” Alya pressed. “How am I supposed to know if it’s the right person? I mean, what if it’s just a regular thief?”

Tikki frowned. “That doesn’t seem very likely.”

“Yeah, but what if--” Alya was interrupted just then, as they pulled into another stop and people began to fill the car. The bench shook as someone threw themself down forcefully next to her.

“Hey, Alya,” Kim said. “Lose something?”

Alya pulled her head out of her backpack. “Uh, yeah, I was just looking for my phone.”

“You mean that phone?” he asked, pointing at the one in her hand.

“Yes, well, obviously I found it,” she said. She pulled the zipper closed. “What’s up?”

“You know, Max pointed out something interesting last night,” he said. “You haven’t updated the Ladyblog in six days.”

“And?”

“ _And_ ,” he continued. “I think I know why that is.”

Alya had always thought it was just an expression, but in that moment, she actually felt her heart stop. “Yeah? Why’s that?” she asked, resting her forearms on top of her bag in a casual yet protective gesture.

Kim shrugged. “They’re not here.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous,” Alya scoffed. “They’d never leave Paris hanging.”

“No, no, no, no, no, don’t you see? They didn’t.”

Alya stared at him flatly. “Hey, Kim? Could you try being a little less dramatic, and actually make some sense?”

He glanced around furtively and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. She glared at his hand and removed it, but he wasn’t deterred, and whispered, “They’ve been replaced.”

Alya frowned. “What? It’s just been slow the past couple of days.”

He squinted at her. “Has it really?”

“Uh…” She looked at him carefully. “Yeah?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Talk to Alix. The other day, she saw--well, she wouldn’t tell me what, exactly, but she saw something weird going on with Ladybug and Chat Noir. I heard her telling Ivan.” He looked at her impassive expression. “You’re not getting nearly as excited about this as I thought you would.”

She shrugged. “Should I be?”

“Uh, yeah,” he replied. “I’m giving you a huge story, here! I know your blog’s kind of dried up lately, and a hot story like this could be just the thing to boost your views--”

“Okay, first of all?” Alya interrupted. “That’s not a story; that’s a conspiracy theory. Secondly, the _reason_ I haven’t updated the Ladyblog in a few days, not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve been really busy lately. Marinette’s out of town, and I’ve had to take notes for her and collect all her homework and stuff so she’s not too far behind when she gets back, _and_ on top of that, I’ve had to go to all the student council meetings. Do you know how often those are? Every other day, Kim. I’m the deputy; I usually only have to go once a month. So, I’m sorry if you think my blog’s been boring or slow lately, but I actually think it’s super convenient that nothing important _has_ happened lately, because I’ve got enough to do as it is!”

Kim lifted his hands in surrender. “Jeez, okay. I was just trying to help.”

“Well, don’t,” she replied shortly.

Alya pulled out her phone, but no matter how pointedly she ignored him, she could still feel Kim tensed next to her, wanting to say more.

They pulled into the last stop before school, and she took the opportunity to switch seats. When he saw she was standing up, he opened his mouth to say his piece, but she cut him off with a glare.

“Save it for Reddit, dude.”

As she made her way to the opposite end of the car, she passed Max. They made eye contact, and he waved politely, but she shook her head and pointed back to where she had been sitting. “Your boyfriend is a conspiracy theorist.”

* * *

Alya tried to avoid Kim for the rest of the day, but even if she was Ladybug for the week, she couldn’t be so lucky.

It was a nice day out, so she spent her free period outside, trying to get a head start on her homework. With patrol taking up most of the night, she wouldn’t have the time to finish it later. Across the courtyard, she saw Alix, Mireille, and Max talking, but she didn’t pay them much attention until Kim walked over to them and pointed towards her.

Oh, God. She tried to ignore them, staring pointedly at her homework, but when a shadow fell across the page, she had to look up.

“Oh! Hey, Alix.”

“Hey,” Alix returned uncertainly. “Kim said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Alya’s mind whirled. Out of the corner of her eye, she had the vague impression that Kim was giving her a double thumbs-up, and she groaned internally. He didn’t know how to leave things alone, did he?

“Uh… Yes! Actually, I did.” Alya managed a nervous smile. “I was wondering… if you’d want to go see a movie after school?”

Alix blinked. “Oh. Sure!” She grinned. “Was that all?”

“Um… yeah.”

“All right.” Alix winked. “It’s a date.”

She turned and walked over towards her friends again. Behind her back, Alya returned Kim’s gesture--with both her middle fingers.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Ladybug was late for patrol again that night.

Chat Noire chuckled as she landed next to her. “Now, don’t feel bad,” she said. “I brought sushi, so it was already cold.”

Ladybug didn’t smile. “Thanks.” She shoved a few pieces of sushi in her mouth and chewed fervently; then, cheeks bulging, she turned to Chat. “Mm, yeah, ‘n my kwami needs t’ talk t’ yours.”

Chat wrinkled her nose. “Sorry, what?”

Ladybug swallowed heavily and tried again. “My kwami’s really freaking out. She said she needs to talk to yours.”

“Now?” Chat asked.

Ladybug shrugged. “Probably.”

Chat barely had time to finish the bite of sushi she was on before Ladybug grabbed her hand and tugged her away. They ducked into a nearby store, which was, thankfully, nearly deserted. The teenager behind the counter gave them an impressed look as they walked by. “Nice costumes!”

Chat grinned at her partner, but she just kept walking, leading them to a bathroom in the back. With that, she released Chat’s hand and locked herself in a stall; a flash of pink light later, and a small red kwami phased through the stall door and looked at Chat expectantly.

“Um, one second,” Chat said awkwardly. She slipped into the other stall and dropped her transformation. Plagg didn’t even bother with his usual complaining; he just flew away.

“Tikki!” he said exuberantly.

Tikki didn’t sound as excited to see him. “Plagg,” she said flatly. “What has Chat Noir done?”

The two of them spoke quietly, and even though Chloé strained to hear them, they took precautions so that she couldn’t. So instead, she turned her attention to the stall next to hers. She couldn’t see anything from where she was standing, but she heard someone sit down on the floor. It was odd. That was Ladybug, except she _wasn’t_ at the moment. But Chloé didn’t know what else to call her.

“Is everything okay?” Chloé asked tentatively. “Ladybug?”

Ladybug sighed. “I don’t know. Sorry. I’ve had a long day.”

Chloé cleared her throat and asked, “Do you want to… talk about it?”

“It’s kind of personal,” Ladybug said. “I don’t know really know if we’re allowed to talk about that stuff, I guess. But thanks.”

There was silence for a few moments, then, she continued, “Sorry I was late again today, by the way. I had a date that ran late.”

Chloé’s chest froze. “Oh.”

It was stupid, really, to be angry. They barely knew each other; and anyway, Ladybug--whoever she was right now--might already have a boyfriend. It was silly to get jealous, and stupid of her to think that just because they flirted, it meant anything. They were in the suits, and they both knew it was just a temporary thing. Chloé was probably reading too much into it. Maybe what they had was just regular superhero banter.

“Did you have fun, at least?” she asked sharply.

Ladybug laughed, genuinely _laughed_ , and it went on for almost a solid minute. “No,” she said, when she had finally calmed herself down. “That’s the worst part of it. I only went because I thought she was onto me about the whole Ladybug thing.”

Chloé couldn’t help but perk up a little at that. “So, she’s…”

“Not my type,” Ladybug finished. “I think we both kind of made it into a friend thing, anyway.”

“So, you’re--” Chloé could feel her cheeks heating up as she stammered her way through her thoughts, and it was a small consolation that the girl she was talking to couldn’t see her face. “I mean, do you… You don’t normally go on dates with girls, then?”

“Oh, I do,” Ladybug answered cautiously. “Like I said, she’s not really my type.” She paused. “I usually go for blondes.”

Chloé felt a huge grin split across her face, and she swallowed hard, trying to contain it. “That’s funny. I usually go for Ladybugs.”

Ladybug laughed again. “Man, I’m really going to miss you when the week is up,” she said.

“Me, too,” Chloé sighed. “Maybe we could meet up sometime. We could even have dinner at a real table.”

“I’ll try to show up on time,” Ladybug snorted.

“If it’s for you, I don’t mind waiting,” Chloé said.

She heard the clanging of something against metal, and Ladybug said, “Hey, look up.”

Chloé did, and saw a hand fluttering at her from the top of the wall dividing the stalls. She reached up and laced their fingers together, and tried to ignore the fact that she was in a public restroom, touching things that were probably dirty and sticky and disgusting. She was holding hands with Ladybug, without gloves to separate them, this time.

And it was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somehow it's been two months????????? my bad
> 
> listen I know people say you're not supposed to do that but I encourage you to come bother me for updates and other stuff on [tumblr](http://chatchevalier.tumblr.com).

**Author's Note:**

> [the post that sparked a revolution](http://chatchevalier.tumblr.com/post/160125683941/larvesta-part-of-chlo-noir-au-they-only-knew)


End file.
